8 Household Rules Every Child Will Be Happy To Follow

It never fails. Every time I sit down to write while the kids are home, I am plagued with their arguing and fighting. They also tend to do everything they are NOT supposed to do! For this reason, I feel like I spend more time unfocused and yelling than I do actually getting any writing work done. Frustrating yes, but instead of listening to them complain about whose turn it is to walk the dog, I have come up with eight household rules that every kid will be more than happy to abide by.

Rule #1

If ever allowed to take food in a room other than the kitchen, please make sure to leave the leftovers on plates. It is then imperative for you to stuff them as far back as you can under the furniture. Writing can be hard work and mom really works up a hefty appetite. She will absolutely love sharing a little indoor picnic with whatever bugs have also been given a personal invitation.

Rule #2

When mom is on a very important phone call, be sure to yell and scream as loud as you can. Being quiet at any time is absolutely unacceptable!

Rule #3

Please wear socks with no shoes outside. White socks are extremely boring and mom knows that. While you’re at it, continue to wear the same pair for days! Mom was born in the early 70′s so she’s all about funk right?

Rule #4

Please be sure to use a new, clean glass each and every time you get a drink. That’s exactly why mom bought more than one.

Rule #5

Please be sure to sneak good silverware outside to dig. Mom is trendy and she knows silverware is the new shovel. Yep, she’s just cool like that.

Rule #6

Go ahead and yell and raise your voice at your parents when you get angry. It has been proven time and time again that parents will never understand. They need to be informed just how hard rules are to follow.

Rule #7

Everyone is to show complete respect for mom and never ever flush the toilet! It has been made perfectly clear that mom’s favorite football team is the browns. It is also obvious that all those scented candles mean she would absolutely adore the smell of poo-poo-ri.

Rule #8

To the boys in the house, please be sure to piss all over the toilet seat. Mom understands how long it takes to perfect an extremely bad aim.

And there you have it. Eight household rules for kids that they will be happy to follow!

Is providing your family a list like this going to make your writing life any easier? Maybe not, but it should give you and the kids a chuckle and make your day a little brighter.

Happy writing!

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